Thursday, January 6


so, i've felt this pull to move forward... maybe because it's a new year, or maybe because of being gone for three weeks threw me for a loop, or maybe because it's been 11.5 weeks since gwenny was born and it seems like other people are moving forward...

but i refuse. i'm just not okay, and i'm okay with being not okay. i think there will be a point when i know it's time to change my facebook photo, or box up her clothes, and take the crib and changing table down. but it's not that point today. and i don't envision it happening tomorrow either. or any time soon for that matter.

personally, i'm sure this is all in my head and i'm fabricating external pressure, and being a bit paranoid. but i need the stark reality of my gwendolyn to hit me again, because this slow slip, this medicated emotion, just sucks.


  1. I know the feeling... and it is ok...

  2. I know it too. Being able to do some of those things will come - slowly. I just put away Adelyn's memory box a few weeks ago. However, the nursery is just as it was before she was born. Diapers on the changing table, clothes in the closet, etc. We have since piled all the baby stuff in there- swing, car seat, pack and play, etc. It was Sierra's room for 2.5 years and the thought of taking the crib down is too final. So we keep it as is. Hoping for another baby to use it someday. Until then, the door stays shut. It's whatever works for you.