letter #4

Hi sweetheart.

Do you know that there's not a holiday about children? At least, I don't think that there is. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. But what does tomorrow mean for me without you? It means sympathy hugs, instead of laughter and shared anecdotes. It means awkward looks instead of smiles. It means a quiet house, instead of breakfast in bed with a six and a half month old baby. It means lots of tears, and not all of them worth crying.


I'm tempted (and will most likely succumb) to feel sorry for myself tomorrow, when I see the children at church or hear about what some children did for their mother, or (Lord please forbid) there's a Mother's Day moment or something in the service. Lord, keep me from bitterness. I want to be a better mom than that.

I sent out twenty-one paintings for Hope Mommies this week. It will be such a sweet thing Gwen, when we're all in Heaven and I get to introduce you to these women, and you get to introduce me to their babies. I like knowing that you're friends with all the Hope Babies, like Holden and Chase and Reese and Noah and Ryan and Landry... and whoa. that's a lot of boys with you girls. Good thing I don't have to worry about marriage with you.

The more I can remember that you're real, and I will really see you one day, the better my days go. It's amazing to think of how much better you know Jesus, since you're there with Him. How amazing it would be to know what you know!

I love you, Gwenny. I'm thankful for my moments with you, and will hold them close to me tomorrow (and every day) until I'm with you again.

love you more than you'll ever know,

Mom