Sunday, September 18

ready, set...

as Anne would say, "Here we go, life!"

It's 10:00pm on Sunday night, and in 12 hours life as I know it will cease, and this soul ache of mine to be a mom -- in one way or another -- will find it's end. We're getting two boys tomorrow, ages three and one. Of course, we don't know how long they'll stay with us, what they're like, what their needs are... but we'll find out tomorrow.


I'm thrilled, of course. It's also just really bizarre. Toys - generously donated by loving friends-- line the bookshelves. A cradle that has stood empty for 11 months will be filled. The twin bed that Gwenny would've eventually graduated to will have a warm, snuggly body between the dinosaur sheets. My days will revolve around meals, nap times, and play... boy play, at which I'm very rusty.

Jumping ahead like this... parenting in a different way than you ever imagined... well, to be honest it's just bizarre and kindof frightening. What a different life.

This morning I was reading Psalm 34... a favorite of mine and Blair's since Gwenny went to Jesus. Again verse 4 shook me:


  I sought the LORD, and he answered me
   and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant,

   and their faces shall never be ashamed. 

Whatever my fears may be -- whether it be change from my easy schedule, kids that could possibly hate me, failing in my duties as a wife and mom, feelings of regret -- my fears find their answer in God alone. Nothing can ease fear and bring peace, save Christ. He delivers from fear, because I can rest secure in His character... I know my God, and He loves me. So I can trust Him. 

What a God I have. What a God that Gwenny is standing before, at this very moment. 

So here we go, life. 

7 comments:

  1. I'm praying for you guys today!

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  2. Praying!!!!! May the next 48 hours in your home be characterized by grace and reliance on the Lord for every moment. We love you guys!

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  3. What a JOY and a BLESSING!! I know that the LORD wanted these 2 kiddos in your home to be shown the love our God has for us. Praying for you today and the adventure that you are about to embark upon! ( DVR all of the Yo Gabba Gabba you can!)

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  4. You are an amazing Mommy, Erin, and I have a feeling God has been waiting in great anticipation for this very moment. Not because it will necessarily be rosy and happy every minute of the day. But, because YOU will be a beautiful reflection of His glory and grace and DEEP deep love in the eyes of these precious boys. You WILL be radiant as you seek Him in this, just like Psalm 34 says. And I am praying like a crazy woman today for you!!! LOVE YOU!

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  5. Erin, I couldn't be happier for the both of you. You have strong Mama instincts and are going to give these boys ALL the love and joy they so desperately need. I will continue to be praying for you growing family! Hugs and love!

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  6. Wow! What an amazing blessing for those little boys, you and Blair! I am so happy that God placed you in each other's lives and I am beyond thrilled for those little guys to get the blessing of your home. My heart is truly glowing with happiness for you all! I have boys about that age so if you have any questions e-mail or call me!! 432-517-0480

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  7. Oh, Erin, I am so excited for you! What a blessing for you and those precious boys! I know it won't always be easy, but you will be such a wonderful mommy to those boys. We will be praying for you. Sending lots of love!

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