a week later

I wanted to give this a whole week before posting, and coming to any conclusions about foster parenting. Here's what the week looked like, by days:


Monday - Placement at 11am. Two strange boys came to my house, played with our toys, took a three hour nap ("Normal?!" I wondered. "No," is the answer.), ate macaroni for lunch, dinner with the Scotts, and enjoyed a bath before attempting to go to bed. Bedtime was a little rough, with B. getting out of bed every 5 minutes, and J. screaming for two hours.

Tuesday - Tuesday I cried all day long. When a co-worker called me, I cried. When I read emails saying people were praying for us, I cried. I tried not to cry around the boys, but I think the overwhelming emotions of the whole process finally hit, and a sobbing Erin was the result. The boys did okay that day though. The Chisms made us a delicious dinner - the boys like protein, but not veggies. I learned that the boys don't like carrots (B. can hold them in his mouth for an hour in defiance.)

Wednesday -, J. doesn't like the feel of sand or water (baths are okay, but not crazy about playing in the sprinkler.) Stacie came over and blessed my heart by playing with them, and reminding me that life is still okay even though it's different.

Thursday - .... I don't remember Thursday. That must mean it went well. :)

Friday - Pretty good day of playing. Dinner at camp, which went pretty well for how chaotic it can be in the dining hall.

Saturday - Blair and I took them swimming in the pool, which they really liked. Small victories with the potty chair. Dinner with the Scotts went really well, and the boys are getting more accustomed to groups of people. Rough night... not sure if J. is having night terrors, is cutting a tooth, or just overwhelmed.

Sunday - woke up late due to the rough night, but made it to church! The boys did great in the nursery, and played well with their new friends. The body of Christ at KBC continually overwhelms with me with how practically they love and serve. we were sent home with a carful of frozen meals. Great night of sleep! The best this week, I think.

So here we go again with another day. This week I have been so thankful for Blair - he is an amazingly patient dad, and is teaching the boys what it means to be a good man. I have been so thankful for my parents, and the way they loved and parented me. I never feared them, feared for my next meal, or feared for my safety. I have been so thankful for Jesus - and I have missed Him this week. I'm trying to figure out how to get quality time with Him during the day.

And I'm learning my inadequacies and limits. I get tired of saying the same boundary again and again. I feel irritated when they continually disobey. I'm so humbled by the kindness of God. It's His kindness that He shows us, though we deserve irritation, anger, and wrath for our continual defiance and disobedience.

So that's my prayer for us, is that we will become the kindness of God to these boys. That in kindness we will establish boundaries. In kindness I will respond to disobedience. In kindness I will explain what good behavior and attitudes look like. In kindness I will change diapers, read books, and play cars. In kindness I will teach them how to play with others. In kindness I will respond to 4am screamings.

okay... time for some morning play before J's nap.

Fill me with your kindness today, Spirit.