2012

I have a theory for when Blair is out of town. If I stay up very late, then I can go to bed and fall asleep right away, and not have to think/realize/irrationally fear being alone. Since Blair has been out of town the past week, I think I've been up past midnight every night.

a toast

It's that time of year, and Blair, the boys and I are at my parent's for the Christmas holiday. I'm not sure whether it's from eating all of the Christmas goodies laying about, or simply because I'm 21 weeks pregnant now, but I'm definitely entering the "cannot-sit-up; flop-over-like-a-beached-whale" phase of pregnancy.

brave

Ahh, the sound of quiet.

Well, it's actually not quiet yet, but the boys are about to switch from the bath, to reading books, to bed, so quiet is soon on it's way. Blair and I had a long day in town with the boys, including a doctor's visit for B and visitation for both of them. And while my heart is still racing from scurrying about: making dinner, cleaning dinner, throwing a load of laundry in, wrapping presents, and putting groceries away, my thoughts are about 1,000 miles away.

symptoms

So it's December, my calendar tells me. And the anxiety building in my heart about Christmas gifts and having things organized is also a reminder that the end of the year is coming on quickly... how come Christmas isn't more like Labor day? The purpose of Labor day is to NOT work, NOT stress, and just enjoy. Christmas should definitely be more like that!