reflections

I'm closing my eyes, imagining that I am sitting with you ove a cup of coffee, and telling you about the last three days of my life. If I peek my eyes open (to double check on my spelling) I see a home that's in a bit of chaos, which too easily distracts. So I close my eyes again and the scenes of this past weekend at the Hope Mommies 2013 retreat create a slideshow for me:

I see women nervous, unsure about why in the world they just drove or flew so many miles to spend with women they don't know, sharing a wound too deep for human words.

I see the nervousness and fear beginning to thaw as they realize that they are at home with one another - they can be whomever they need to be, knowing that in this one place, having a child who is dead on earth but alive in Heaven isn't an awkward thing.

I see women scattered across a beautiful house, clustered in groups. Some laughing, some weeping, some taking time to look at the babies photographs, or spend time alone with the Lord.

I see three of my precious friends bravely sharing their story, gently exhorting us with tears to see life as a gift, to see eternity as so much bigger than our short time here, to see that forgiveness is a must if we want to experience the Lord's fullness for us.

I see a cloud of balloons making their way to the heavens, symbolizing our release of our babies into the arms of the Lord. And as our eyes strain to watch them float away, I hear the longing that echoes in our hearts that one Day, we too will be released from this failing body and at home with our Savior and our babies.

I see faithful friends serving us, quietly, prayerfully and without honor filling in the gaps to make the weekend flow as smoothly as possible for these hope mommies.

I see Hope Moms putting their creative energy and heart into decorating a Hope Box in their baby's honor, lovingly and prayerfully preparing a small gift for a woman who will soon walk in their shoes.

I see a group photo of women clothed in white - unintentional, actually - but the Lord knew that. He knew that we are marked, and that through that mark he would refine us - though our sins be scarlet, he would purify us to be white as snow.

I see women empowered, eager to help share God's hope in their own communities through hope boxes.

And in all these things - ALL of these things - I see the reflection of the glory of the Lord. "For no eye has seen him", yet we beheld His glory as He moved among His beloved, comforting them with His love.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” 

And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.

Revelation 21:3-7